Someone's always saying goodbye
by ethereallie
Summary: "I love you so much...but I don't think I can be here when you come back..." Jackson said brokenly. Is love really enough to keep two people together? A songfic based from GA's last episode. Enjoy!
1. April's POV

" _Why do people fall in love and they end up crying?_

 _Why do lovers walk away from themselves, when their hearts are breaking?_

 _Why does loving sometimes never stay long?_

 _Why does kissing this time mean you'll be gone?_

 _Why does gladness become sadness, things that I don't get..._ "

* * *

 **April's POV:**

" _I love you so much...but I don't think I can be here when you come back..."_

April Avery sat numbly down the bench, her tears showing no signs of abating anytime soon. She moved her shaking hands to her lap, rubbing it repeatedly on her thighs, trying her best to stifle the sobs that desperately wants to escape her lips. She knew beforehand that he wouldn't take the news well; she knew that she would end up hurting him again and yet, she still pushed through with it - what the hell is wrong with her? He had every right to throw in the gauntlet and tell her flat out that he wouldn't be waiting for her this time. Her heart broke upon hearing the words from his mouth but what hurt her the most was the look on his face - he looked so defeated. "You're one selfish jerk April...just plain selfish..." she mumbled to herself.

"April?"

She hastily wiped her cheeks and cleared the lump in her throat; "Y-yes?"

"Why are you sitting there alone?" Arizona asked as she stepped into the light.

"Err - just thinking," April replied.

"In the dark? In this temperature?"

April turned her face towards Arizona, a forced smile curling on her lips; "I just needed some air, it's a little stuffy inside."

Furrowing her eyes, Arizona shifted closer; "Why are your eyes red? Were you crying?"

"N-no, it's my contacts - I just took it off because it's very itchy" April lied.

Arizona folded her arms on top of her chest, "I'm not going to judge you so you can quit with the lame excuses. So, tell me, what's really wrong?" she asked.

A sob escaped her lips even before she was able to stifle it; she buried her face into her hands as her shoulders shook.

Arizona's jaw dropped, clearly not expecting April's intense reaction to her question. She quickly moved towards the bench and placed a comforting arm around the other woman's shoulder, "Let it out..."

"I-I didn't mean for it to happen-I..." April sputtered, grief seeping from her tone.

Squeezing April's shoulder, Arizona asked. "What happened?"

Letting her hands drop to her lap, April sniffed loudly; "I told Jackson that I'm going back to the field..." she paused to clear her throat. "A-and he told me that he will not wait for me any longer..."

"Fuck" Arizona cursed as she let her arm drop.

April let out a manic laugh as tears trail down her cheeks; "You hit the nail on the head," she said.

"Are you really going?" Arizona asked.

"I don't know...I wasn't expecting any of this to happen when I told him that" April replied shakily.

Arizona shifted on her seat to face her friend fully; "Can I be honest with you?" she asked.

April wiped her nose with her hand; "Sure, go ahead."

"I know that losing Samuel was very hard and it still is. I saw you struggle every day and how hard you try to paste a smile on your face every time you see a baby. I completely understand your need to be on the field because it gives you a new purpose. You help prevent unnecessary loses because you don't want other people to suffer what you've been through..."

April leaned forward, her elbows braced on her knees; "Y-yeah..." she mumbled.

"Don't get me wrong, your intention is noble and I get where you're coming from-" Arizona paused to lean back. "But I also understand Jackson."

Burying her face into her palm, a soft sob escaped April's lips.

"He also lost a child but somewhere along the way he lost you too."

April turned her face to the side, "But he didn't, I'm still here..."

"Right now, but for how long?" Arizona challenged.

Clamping her lips together, April averted her gaze.

Arizona draped her arms on the bench; "My brother and my best friend are both soldiers. One died on duty while the other lost his battle with cancer" she paused again to take a deep breath. "Jackson wore the same shoes I wore when you decided to leave the first time. All the trepidation and worry can be clearly seen on his face every time he sees the news and doesn't hear a peep from you. Its nerve wracking, you know - like you're riding in a rollercoaster without the safety bar on. You hope and pray that your grasp on the seat is strong enough to keep you on your place but at the back of your mind, you know that one wrong move can send you toppling over the edge."

A look of pure misery spread on April's blotchy face; "I-I didn't know...why didn't he tell me that?"

"Because he knows you need it. He understands that you need to be away from him to be able to heal all the hurt."

"I'm really selfish, right?"

"We are all selfish at some point, it's part of being human."

April's shoulder slumped; "What am I supposed to do?" she asked.

Arizona stood up from her perch, her eyes full of compassion, "You only have two options; you leave and follow through your plans even at the expense of the love you both ardently fought for or you stay with him, work things out and realize that you're also doing the exact same thing here - only less dangerous."

April bit her bottom lip, her mind racing with what her friend said.

"Dr. Kepner! Dr. Robbins!"

Both surgeons turned towards the voice; "I'm going back, no need to shout Edwards" Arizona said.

"Something happened...it's Dr. Shepherd" Stephanie said shakily.

April shot up from her seat upon seeing Stephanie's pale face; "What happened?"

"He-he is- he's dead" Stephanie sputtered.

* * *

" _Someone's always saying goodbye, I believe it hurts when we cry._

 _Don't we know partings never so easy and with all the achings inside,_

 _I believe some hearts won't survive. Trying hard to pretend that we're gonna be fine..."_

* * *

Dark gray clouds loom over the cemetery while people pay their last respect to GSMH most loved surgeon. Tears were shed and many condolences were uttered, yet the grief of losing one of their own doesn't seem to lessen.

April folded her arms on top her chest, her eyes fixed on Meredith's stoic face; "Is she alright?" she asked lowly.

Jackson followed her gaze; "I really don't know...I haven't spoken to her since yesterday..." he replied.

"I've been watching her all throughout the service and she hasn't cried - not even once," Arizona said.

Callie slipped her hands inside her pocket, "Mer is really not a crier..."

Sighing, Arizona shifted on her feet; "Crying will do her good, you know...".

"It will but we can't really force her," Jackson said.

"Wait-is that Yang?" April asked with large eyes.

All three surgeons turned to their left and saw a familiar figure walking towards Meredith; "It's about damn time," Jackson grunted.

Cristina softly tugged on Meredith's arm before pulling her into a tight hug.

Meredith stiffened for a second but when she realized who it was; she buried her face into her familiar curls and let out a heart breaking sob.

"Well, that's that" Callie said sadly.

Arizona cleared her throat, "Yeah..."

April turned her face towards Jackson, "Did you know she was coming?"

"Yes, Hunt told me this morning" Jackson replied. He then slipped his hands inside his pockets; "And he also told me that you're leaving for Iraq in two weeks," he said _too_ nonchalantly.

Hugging herself, April averted her gaze and pressed her lips together.

"Do you even have plans on telling me?" Jackson asked.

"Jackson, this is not the right time and place for that..." April pleaded.

Jackson's jaw clenched tightly, his eyes boring into April's head; "When exactly is the right time and place?"

April turned her face to meet her husband's gaze; "We just buried one of our own today, can't it wait?" she asked. "And besides, you already decided what you want, I don't think what I have to say matters anymore," she added somewhat petulantly.

Jackson stared at her; "Wow, Apes" he said with a hint of disappointment. He then shook his head and turned on his heel; "Now I'm the one who decides without considering your feelings first - just wow" he said as he walks away.

Tears started welling up her eyes as he watched Jackson leave. A hand slipped on her arm, squeezing it comfortingly. She bowed her head to hide her face; "I deserved that," she murmured.

"You were right on some counts - this is not the right time and place for that conversation," Arizona said.

Lifting her other hand, April wiped her cheeks. She sniffed loudly before clearing her throat; "I think I should go - I should follow him..."

"Give him time to blow some steam off, you need to talk, not argue."

April shook her head, "No, I need to talk to him now or he'll end up avoiding me every chance he gets."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I am."

* * *

oOo

* * *

April slipped into their apartment and closed the door behind her quietly; she saw the keys hanging on the hook so she knows that he's already there. She hung her keys on top of his and made her way towards the living room; she spotted him sitting on the couch, a bottle of beer dangling precariously on his hand. "H-hey..."

He didn't turn around, his eyes firmly fixed on the game playing on the flat screen TV; "Yeah" he grunted.

She peeled her coat off and threw it haphazardly on top of the breakfast before making her way towards him. She rounded the couch and sat down on the opposite side; "Jackson I-"

"Don't" Jackson said, cutting her off mid-sentence. He placed the bottle on top of the coffee table before facing her directly; "I was out of line, you were right - it was not the right time and place - sorry," he said.

April gathered her hands to her lap, twisting her fingers anxiously; "It's okay, I'm sorry too" she murmured.

Jackson stared at her for a couple of seconds before letting out a sigh. He scooted towards her and placed his hand on hers, stopping her hands from fidgeting. "Let's not talk about anything tonight, yeah? We're both emotionally rung out from the funeral so talking about it wouldn't bode well - we'll just end up fighting and that's the last thing I want to do right now."

"I don't like fighting with you..." April whispered in response.

"Yeah, same here" Jackson replied.

She slowly lifted her face, meeting his gaze for the first time; "Have you already eaten? I can make us something-ommppph"

Jackson covered her lips with his, swallowing her words with his mouth. He pushed her back on the couch, his lips never leaving hers.

April got lost in the kiss, her arms involuntarily reaching for his neck, pulling him closer.

Groaning, Jackson settled between her legs, his hips rocking instinctively.

April pulled her lips away, her head falling to side, giving him a clear access to her neck.

Jackson didn't think twice, he trailed open mouthed along her cheeks down to her neck, his hips never losing its rhythm.

"Oh god..." April moaned as she started to wrap her legs around his waist. "Don't stop..."

"I have no plans of stopping," he said between kisses. "Unless you want me to stop..."

"No...please, don't stop..."

"Are you sure?"

April rocked her hips; "Does that answer your question?" she breathed out.

Jackson groaned, his eyes closing in pleasure; "Fuck."

April moved her hands towards his back, her hands tugging his shirt from his pants. "I want you."

Jackson's eyes snapped open, "But I want you more," he replied, his words laced with something akin to pain.

She opened her mouth to speak but he didn't let her; he pressed his lips to her, clouding her mind with lust, making her forget their predicament.

* * *

oOo

* * *

Jackson kissed her lips one more time before leaning back on the couch's armrest. He fixed his eyes on the ceiling, staring at the light fixtures pensively.

April shifted closer, her arm going around his waist, "What are you thinking about?" she asked.

"Just...things," he replied. He then placed his hand on top of hers, twining their fingers together.

She leaned her head on his chest, listening to his sturdy heartbeat. After a moment of silent deliberation, she decided to address the proverbial elephant in the room; "We still have to talk Jackson..." she half whispered.

Letting out a sigh, Jackson tightened his hold on her hand, "I know that..." he replied.

"I'm sorry if I didn't tell you sooner, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

"Yeah, I know."

She opened her eyes and lifted her head; she leaned towards him, resting her chin on his chest. "I love you, you know that right?"

He met her gaze with a sad smile, "Yeah, but sometimes love is not enough to stay..." he said.

She wanted to say something, to tell him that what he said is not true, but emotions clogged her throat - making it hard to speak. Her vision started to blur, so she averted her gaze.

Lifting his other hand, Jackson tapped her chin, making her look at him again; "Let's just pretend that everything is okay and just live one day at a time, yeah?"

Too choked up to form an audible response, April just nodded and leaned her head back on his chest.

* * *

 _ **A/N: And I'm back - with a spur of the moment fic none the less! ^-^/**_

 _ **I know I haven't update VI yet but I can't stop myself from writing this - the season ender of RLGA is just so depressing. I heard this song playing after watching the last episode and boom - a songfic bunny came to life. LOL**_

 _ **Jackson's POV is currently being written so I'm pretty sure I'll be posting it sooner than expected, This story is shorter than my normal fics so it's easier to write and read. ^-^**_

 _ **Having said that, please tell me how you feel about this. Leave me a review or whatnots so I'll know if it's interesting enough to post. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy! Till next chappy! Cheers!**_


	2. Jackson's POV

" _I could never really love someone else but you._

 _I have never wanted anything else but a love so true._

 _But just like a dream that comes in the night; in the morning you were out of my sight_

 _Turned away from me, sadly as I see - away from where I stand..."_

* * *

 **Jackson's POV:**

 _Live at the moment,_ that's what Jackson told his wife when she brought up their current predicament. Truth be told, he wanted to scream at her and tell her she's being selfish for choosing her _calling_ over their marriage. Two weeks have already passed since their agreement and now, he's being forced to face the reality that she's leaving him. Yes, he understands where she's coming from, but that doesn't mean it hurt less. "Fuckity fuck!" he cursed as he buried his face into his palms.

"Cursing spree?"

Jackson turned his head to the side and saw Callie leaning on the doorframe, "Sneaking on people now, Torres?"

Folding her arms on top of her chest, Callie quirked a brow; "It's not considered sneaking if I already knocked twice" she replied.

He threw her a confused look, "You did?"

"I did, but you seem to be lost in your own little world" Callie replied. She then pulled away from her perch and started walking towards the vacant chair beside him, "You okay?" she asked as she sat down.

"Yeah," Jackson replied. "Why'd you ask?"

"Because you were supposed to be in the Conference Room 20 minutes ago," Callie replied.

He furrowed his brows, "For what?"

"Oh sweet Jesus!" Callie exclaimed. She leaned forward and braced her elbows on top of her knees, "You arranged a Board Meeting yesterday, but I don't think you remember."

Jackson stared at Callie for a moment before he jumped out of his chair, "Shit!"

Callie stood up and slipped her hands inside her lab coat pockets, "Mer has been sitting inside that room staring blankly at McDreamy's chair. So I suggest you gather yourself and go there before shit starts to hit the fan, " she said before walking towards the door.

He grabbed his tab and coat before storming out of the room.

* * *

oOo

* * *

The meeting went by without further delays, he received a few disapproving looks from his friends, but it went better than he expected. Everyone has been very cooperative so they were able to come up with a decent solution to every quandary.

"Jackson?"

He lifted his eyes from his tab and was surprised to see Meredith sitting in the same spot, "You're still here?"

Meredith let out a sad smile, "I have nowhere to be," she replied.

" _She's still on indefinite leave, you idiot!"_ he chastised himself. He lowered his tab on the table and cleared his throat, "Yeah, I know - sorry about that," he said.

She pulled Derek's chair closer and draped her arm on top of it, "When is April leaving?" she asked.

Leaning back in his chair, Jackson let out a defeated sigh. "Tomorrow,"

"And you're okay with that?"

"I don't think I have any choice about the matter," he said with a hint of bitterness.

Meredith furrowed her brows, "What do you mean?"

He rested his elbows on top of the table, "She already made up her mind even before she told me and knowing April, there's nothing I could say or do, that will change that."

"But you guys are married; you're supposed to make a decision _together."_

"Well, I guess ours doesn't work that way, " Jackson said.

Meredith leaned forward and folded her arms on top of the table, "Don't let her," she half whispered.

"Don't let her what?" he asked.

"Don't let her leave if you really want her to stay," Meredith said, her voice filled with pain. "Don't make the same mistake I made Jackson," she paused to clear the lump in her throat. "Don't let her leave without saying anything, simply because you feel that you're doing it for her own good. I did that to Derek. I told him to follow his dreams because I didn't want him to feel like I'm keeping him from his _calling_."

He opened his mouth to speak, but words seem to evade him. He closed his mouth and just stared at her, digesting every word that comes from her mouth.

She hastily wiped the tear that escaped her eye, "You've both been through a lot, so don't let it end this way. I know how much you love her, shit - you pretty much showed us when you stole her away from her own wedding," she said with a chuckle.

He can't help but smile at the memory.

Meredith pushed away from the table and stood up, "You already did that once, I'm pretty sure you can do it again."

"How can I ask her to stay when she already decided to leave?" Jackson asked sadly.

Meredith placed her hands on her hips with a determined look on her face; "Do you see yourself loving someone else?"

"Err - what are you-"

"Just answer the question," she said, cutting him off midsentence.

He swallowed hard, "N-no,"

"Then tell her that, don't let your pride get in the way" Meredith said as she padded towards the door. "Beg if you have to, I would've gone down on my knees and asked Derek to stay - if I did that, then maybe he wouldn't have died" she said before quietly closing the door behind her.

* * *

oOo

* * *

Jackson tried to push the conversation he had with Meredith at the back of his mind but he's failing. He already snapped at two residents and made one intern cry, making him feel miserable.

"If you can't get your acts together, I suggest you take a walk or better yet, go home" Miranda said sternly.

"I don't need to-"

"Na-ah, I don't want to hear your petty excuses" Miranda interrupted. She then braced her hands on her hips, her eyes softening; "Look, I understand that you're going through a rough time but that doesn't give you the right to bite every one's head off. You're a well liked Attending, don't let your personal problems affect your work, so go home and sleep it off or do whatever you do to release some stress."

He stared at Miranda for a couple of seconds, "Okay," he said.

"Good, Rogers is here so you don't have to worry about anything," Miranda said.

"Page me if you need me?" Jackson said.

"I doubt we will, but I'll keep that in mind."

He smiled ruefully, "Okay, I'll go now - sorry about that..."

Miranda nodded, "I'll take care of it,"

Jackson turned on his heel and started walking towards the double doors, his shoulder slumped in defeat.

* * *

oOo

* * *

He's been standing right in front of their door for 15 minutes yet he can't seem to make himself open it. He knows that she's in there, preparing all her things and unknowingly stuffing his heart inside her suitcase. He rested his forehead on the wood panel, his eyes and fists closed tightly as he tried to calm his erratic heart.

"Jackson?"

Snapping his eyes open, he turned his head to the side, "April?"

April shifted the paper bag in her arm, "What are you doing?" she asked with a quirked brow.

"I have a headache," he replied, a lie easily escaping Jackson's lips.

"Okay," she replied. She then gestured towards the door, "Can you open the door? I have something for the pain" April said.

"Does it work with chest pains too?" he joked.

Her eyes widen in alarm, "You're having chest pains?"

He slipped his hand inside his pocket to fish his keys out, "Don't think about it, I can handle it" he replied as he unlocked the door. " _I hope"_ he added as an afterthought.

She furrowed her brows as she followed him inside, "Are you sure? You shouldn't downplay stuff like that," she said as she kicked the door close.

"Don't worry about it," he replied as he placed his bag on one of the high chairs. He rounded the breakfast bar and made his way towards the fridge; he pulled it open and grabbed a bottle. "Want one?"

She placed the bag on top of the countertop, "Sure, thanks" she replied.

He opened the bottle before placing it right in front of her, "Welcome," he replied before taking a large swig of his own drink. "Done packing?" he asked casually.

She took that chance to move the bottle to her lips, delaying her response on purpose. After swallowing her drink, she let out a contented sigh and met his gaze. "Yeah, I finished everything before I went out."

He shifted his eyes towards the large paper bag on top of the counter, "Where do you plan on putting those if you already packed?" he asked.

She shifted on her perch, "Err - I'm not bringing that...that's for you" she said.

A surprised look crossed over his features, "For me?"

"Yeah," she replied. She moved the bottle back to her lips, drinking almost half of the beer, "It's just groceries, the pantry is a little bare" she explained.

He leaned towards the bag and took a peek, "You didn't have to do that but thank you" he said.

"You don't need to thank me Jackson, it's the least thing I can do before I leave..."

His chest started constricting again; the pressure is so heavy that it's making it hard to breathe. He didn't want her to see him this way, so turned around and emptied his beer. He made his way towards the side and disposed the bottle on the garbage can; "I'm gonna take a shower, my head still hurts" he lied.

"Right, the meds - I'll go get it" she said as she pulled away from the counter.

"No, it's okay - I'm good" he said hastily. "I'm sure the shower will take care of it," he added.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, don't sweat it" he said. He threw her a small smile before making his way towards the living room. He felt her eyes on him as he walked away, he subtly moved his hand towards his chest, rubbing it in circular motions, hoping that it would somehow lessen the ache his feeling.

* * *

oOo

* * *

After taking a lengthy shower, Jackson made himself scarce. He quietly retreated to the balcony with a few bottles of beers, thinking that even for a few hours, he can forget the fact that tonight would be their last night together. He popped the cap of his third beer, "Get used to it, it's just you and me starting tomorrow," he whispered to the bottle before taking a large swig. He's in the process of swallowing another mouthful when he heard the sliding doors open, as much as he wants to look back, he forced himself to keep his eyes on the sky.

"Did you at least eat before you started drinking?"

"I'm good," he replied. He straightened his legs and crossed his ankles, "You should rest, you have long day tomorrow," he said.

She walked towards the adjacent chair and plopped down, "I'm good, I had a lot of rest today," she replied. She then pointed towards the last bottle on the table, "Can I?" she asked.

He didn't look at her but he nodded.

April popped the cap as she leaned back on her seat, "So..."

He knows where this conversation is heading so he decided to change it - after all, he's not ready to say goodbye just yet, "Do you still remember our first day at Mercy West?" he turned to meet her eyes.

She threw him a confused look, "Yeah, why?"

He let out a wistful smile before moving his eyes back to the sky, "I was so nervous about being recognized so I kept my head down, even when I'm just walking along the hallway-"

"-and you smacked right into me, sending me to the floor" April finished with a chuckle.

"And you yelled at me for 5 straight minutes"

"You deserved that,"

"I did" he agreed. He then leaned back on his seat and swallowed the golf-sized lump in his throat, "From a little red head farm girl, you turned into a kick ass Trauma surgeon - I say, you've come a long way Apes. You should be proud, hell I'm proud" he said.

She bowed her head and started peeling the label off the bottle, "You've come a long way too, and I'm proud of you as well," she replied.

A familiar feeling started churning inside his gut, making his eyes sting; "We had a good run, don't you think?" he asked.

"Y-yeah, we did" she half whispered.

"We did," he repeated. He emptied his bottle in one go and stood up from his perch, he moved towards her and offered his hand; "Let's go to bed, it's late..."

She placed the bottle on the table before placing her hand in his, "Jackson I-"

"Let's just enjoy our last night together" he interjected. He wrapped his hand around hers and pulled her up; "Tonight, it's just about me and you - nothing else matters, understand?" he asked.

She tilted her face to meet his gaze; after a moment, she let out a long sigh before nodding. "Okay, me and you - nothing else" she said.

He tugged her to his chest and buried his face into the crook of her neck; "I love you so much, don't ever forget that" he whispered.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, "I love you too Jackson..." she croaked as she hugged him.

"Make love to me?" he whispered.

She tightened her hold around him as she wrapped her legs around his waist, "Take me to bed" she whispered.

* * *

oOo

* * *

They made love for hours, only stopping when the sky started changing its colors. She's been asleep for awhile but his mind won't allow him to follow. So instead of staring at the ceiling like he normally does, he opted to watch her sleep, committing every curve and every eye lash to his memory. He moved his hand towards her cheek, "You're everything I never thought I wanted until I almost you to Matthew..." he ran his thumb on her soft cheek. "When I stood up on that barn, I swore to myself that I'd never let you go again...but how can stand by my word when I know that I'll only end up hurting you?" He cupped her cheek as his eyes started stinging, "How can I ask you to stay with me when I'm no longer enough to make you happy?" he asked brokenly. He shifted closer and pulled her sleeping form to his chest, "I love you April...I love you enough to know that I need to let you go" he whispered as he let himself succumb to the tears that he refused to fall ever since she told him that she's leaving. He closed his eyes as he pressed his shaking lips to her head, "Be happy..." he whispered.

* * *

" _Someone's always saying goodbye, I believe it hurts when we cry._

 _Don't we know partings never so easy and with all the achings inside,_

 _I believe some hearts won't survive. Trying hard to pretend that we're gonna be fine..."_

* * *

When the clock hit 8, Jackson quietly slipped out of bed and went for a run. He knows that she would be up soon and he didn't want her to see how much he's hurting. He ran around the park three times, thinking that exhausting himself would numb the other type of ache his feeling but alas, it didn't do a damn thing. He stepped out of the elevator and made his way towards the door, he took a deep calming breath before unlocking it. He pushed it open and saw April standing by the couch, freshly showered and luggage in tow. He closed the door with his foot before slipping the key on the hook; he swallowed back his emotions and forced a smile out. "You're all set?"

She shifted on her feet, an unreadable look marring her usually bright features. "Yeah," she replied.

He wiped the sweat of his forehead, his eyes never leaving hers. "I know we've already talked about this but..." he paused to clear his throat. "Do you want me to be there?"

She opened her to speak but clamped her lips shut. She continued staring at him for a few seconds before opening her mouth again, "N-no, it's okay...I already called a cab - it'll be here in a few minutes" she replied.

He felt the air get sucked out of his chest but he didn't let it show, "Oh okay, at least let me help you with the luggage..."

April nodded, "Yeah...that would be great" she replied. "About the rest of my stuff..."

"You can leave it here...until you come back" he said. He then took a deep breath and pointed towards the bathroom, "I'll just take a quick shower before your taxi arrives, that okay?" he asked.

She swallowed hard, "Sure, go on - I'll call you once it's here" she replied.

He threw her a look before silently walking towards the bathroom.

* * *

oOo

* * *

He was slipping his sneakers on when heard a soft knock, he stood up from his perch and made his way towards the door. He pulled it open and saw her standing on the other side, "Cab is here?" he asked.

"Yeah,"

"Okay, let's go then."

He pushed his emotions back and locked it as tightly as he can; he briskly walked towards the living and made a bee line towards her bag. He slung the backpack on his shoulder and grabbed the trolley's handle; "Do you have everything you need?" he asked.

She fell into step with him, "Y-yeah," she replied. She wrapped her arms around her waist, hugging herself; "I'll get the door," she said before walking away.

He tightened his hold on the handle as he followed her, _"You will not make this harder than it is, you will smile, hug her tight, tell her to be safe and kiss her goodbye - that's what you need to do man. You can do whatever shit you want later"_ he thought.

They made rode the elevator in silence, keeping their eyes off each other. They walked side by side towards the door, stepping out into Seattle's gloomy morning. He lifted his hand and signalled for the cabbie; "Your ride is here," he said.

She turned towards him, her eyes glistening with unshed tears; "Jackson..." he croaked.

He handed the back towards the cabbie, "Give us a minute?" he asked.

The cabbie nodded and made his way towards the back of his car.

He kept his emotions in check before facing her; like what he practiced, he pasted a smile on his face. "Well...this is it" he said.

Fat tears fell on her cheek but she hastily wiped it, "Yeah..."

His heart was breaking but he kept a brave face, he placed his hand on her shoulders and pulled her to his chest. "Take care of yourself" he said as he hugged her fiercely.

A sob escaped her lips as she hugged him back, "I-I'm sorry...I love you...so much"

He closed his eyes, "I know...I love you too" he replied. He let her clung to him for a couple of minutes before slowly releasing his grip, "You need to go-you'll be late" he said shakily.

Slowly, she pulled away from him. She tilted her face and stood on her toes, she closed her eyes as she pressed her lips to his.

He closed his eyes and gave into the kiss, silently begging her to stay with his lips.

After a few seconds, she broke the kiss and ran towards the cab. She yanked the door open and hastily slipped in; she closed the door with a loud bang and kept her eyes up front, never sparing him a glance.

"Fuck it all," he mumbled to himself as he watched the cab vanish from his sight.

* * *

 _ **A/N: Sooooo...what do you think about this chapter? I had to hold back my tears while writing it, crazy I know but that's how I envisioned Jackson's reaction to their situation - closed off and trying to do what he thinks is best for the both of them. ^-^**_

 _ **To those of you who are wondering why the timeline on this story is not parallel with RLGA - I only have one answer – It's intentional. I wanted to create my own version of things - hence, Cristina showing up during the burial. (I wanted that to happen on RLGA but alas, no luck - she's still MIA. LOL)**_

 _ **Going back, I'm thinking about putting up another chapter - to tie some loose ends, what do you think? Let me know soonest!**_ _ **Again, thank you for reading my story! ^-^/**_


	3. April and Jackson's POV

" _...trying hard to pretend that they're gonna be fine..."_

* * *

 **April's POV:**

"Ma'am, we're here"

April opened her swollen eyes and studied her surroundings, "T-thanks" she said. She grabbed her bag from her side and started rummaging for her wallet, "How much?" she asked.

"It's already taken care of," the cabbie replied before climbing out of the car.

She closed her eyes, trying her best to get a hold of herself. Once she's ready, she opened the door and climbed out of the car.

The cabbie handed her the backpack and parked the trolley right in front of her; he offered her a small smile before climbing back into his cab.

With shaking hands, she gripped the trolley's handle and started pulling it towards the entrance. She was halfway towards the baggage counter when she heard her name being called; she turned her face to the side and saw Owen walking towards her.

Owen's smile immediately vanished, "Are you alright?" he asked, worry evident in his tone.

She managed a small smile, "Of course, " she replied, trying her best to sound like her normal perky self.

He braced his hands on his waist, studying her face intently. "You don't look like you are,"

"Just a little tired," she lied. She then gestured towards her bag, "I need to check this in, we still have time right?" she asked.

"We have 2 more hours before departure," he confirmed.

"Great, be back in a sec."

"Want some coffee? I'm buying"

She threw him a grateful look, "That would be awesome, thanks Chief, " she said with a small smile.

He smiled back before turning on his heels.

She watched his back disappear from the crowd before making her way towards the line.

* * *

oOo

* * *

 **Jackson's POV:**

"What are you doing here?"

Jackson opened his eyes and saw Arizona standing by the doorway, "I work here," he replied.

"Ha ha, very funny," Arizona said dryly. She folded her arms on top of her chest as she made her way into his office, "Why aren't you at the airport?" she asked.

"She doesn't need me there and I'm needed here, plain old logic" he said flatly.

She furrowed her brows and studied the other surgeon's pale face, "Did she tell you or you assumed she wanted that?"

He closed his eyes again, "Not now Robbins, I'm not in the mood."

She ignored his dismissal and sat down on one of the chairs that's situated right in front of his desk, "It's not too late, you know..."

"Not too late for what?"

"I just got off the phone with Owen, their flight got delayed."

His eyes snapped open, "Huh?" he asked.

She made a show of checking her watch, "You will still be able to catch them - that is, if you leave right now."

His heart started hammering inside his chest, making him see spots. He gripped his chair tightly, trying his best to act nonchalant; "W-why would I do that?" he half whispered.

"Err - because you love her?" she said while throwing him a condescending look.

" _If you love someone, you tell them. Even if you're scared that it's not the right thing, even if you're scared that it'll cause problems, even if you're scared that it will burn your life to the ground you say it and you say it loud and then you go from there..."_ Mark's words echoed inside his head for the second time, making him catch his breath. He shifted on his perch, a familiar feeling stewing inside his gut.

"Are you alright?" Arizona asked, noticing the change in his demeanor.

He opened his mouth to speak but he can't seem to form any words. His heart started thumping inside his chest, making sweat form on his upper lip and forehead.

Arizona looked alarmed; she leaned towards the desk and grabbed his stiff arm. "Jackson!"

"I-I'm okay" he managed to hiss out. He closed his eyes and started counting one to ten, trying his best to calm himself down.

"You don't look okay; do you want me to page Maggie? Is your chest bothering you? You're sweating bullets!"

He opened his eyes, "I'm good, no need to do that."

She pulled her hand away, "Okay."

Jackson swallowed thickly, his eyes uncharacteristically wide; "I-I think I made a mistake..."

Arizona tilted her head to the side, "What do you mean?"

He moved his eyes to his hand, twisting his wedding band repeatedly. "I shouldn't have given up so easily...I should've asked her to stay..."

"Well, like what I said - if you leave now, you can still catch them at the airport."

He lifted his gaze and met hers, "Do you think she'll stay?"

She slipped her hands inside her pockets, "Maybe she will or maybe she won't, you wouldn't know unless you ask her personally."

"But-"

"No buts! Get your ass off that chair and get your woman. And seriously, if you feel like you're going down, then go down fighting and not moping!" Arizona said with an eye roll. "You hijacked her wedding and married her 10 hours after you stole her for goodness sake! Following her at the airport is ten times easier than that!" she added.

* * *

oOo

* * *

 **April's POV:**

" _I love you - even the things I don't like I love..."_

"You okay?"

April snapped out of her stupor and noticed Owen standing right in front of her, holding a large cup of coffee; "Y-yeah," she replied.

Owen handed her the cup before sitting beside her.

"Thanks" she replied before taking a sip of her drink.

"I just spoke with one of the airline's supervisors, we're boarding in a few minutes" he said before sipping his own drink.

"Did they tell you why our flight is delayed?"

"Something about refuelling" Owen replied as he relaxed back on his seat.

"Okay, good" April said.

"You seem to be in deep thought, something bothering you?"

Her hand tightened around the warm cup, "No, I'm good" she said too quickly.

Owen caught the hitch in her voice, making him turn towards her; "Not having second thoughts?"

"Nope," she replied.

He studied her face for a moment and saw a flash of indecision in her eyes, he knew - right there and then that her heart is not in the same place as her brain. "Have you talked with Avery?"

She turned to face him, "Yes, why?"

He straightened his legs and crossed his ankles, "Nothing really, just asking" he said.

"Okay, that's a little random," she said as she placed her cup on the vacant chair on her left.

"I just worry about him, I guess" he said with a shrug.

A confused look crossed her features, "Worry? Why?"

He draped his arm on the backrest, his cup dangling from his hand. "Because he seems to be taking things in stride, it's not normal."

She leaned forward, bracing her elbows on her thighs, her eyes fixed on the floor.

Owen cleared his throat, "I don't mean to pry - it's just an observation" he back pedalled.

Shaking her head, April let out a sigh. "It's okay, you're not prying" she said. She then turned her face to the side, meeting her mentor's gaze, "I know what you mean though - he seems okay with me leaving," she added.

"Not everything is black and white," Owen said.

She furrowed her brows, "What do you mean?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "All I'm really trying to say is that men can be pretentious like women too" he said. When he saw the affronted look on her prot's face, he hastily lifted his hand in mock surrender; "I'm not saying that as an insult, more like women's automatic response to aversive things," he explained.

"Like a defence mechanism? Is that what you're trying to say?" April asked with a quirked brow.

"Exactly!" Owen said. "We don't normally wear our emotions on our sleeves, so when the going gets tough or we're faced with things that actually hurt us - we automatically shut our emotions down. That doesn't mean we don't feel it, it's just our way of buying ourselves more time to brood over it a latter time - when no one is there to witness it."

April bowed her head, "Do you think that's what he's doing?"

"I don't know Avery enough to confirm that, but you're his best friend - I'm quite sure you know how he operates."

"Excuse me, Dr. Hunt?"

Owen turned around and saw one of the airline crew standing behind them, "Yes?"

"Mr. Sheffield asked me to come over and inform you that your flight is about ready to board in five minutes."

Owen nodded, "Thanks, we'll be on our way" he replied.

The crew smiled at them politely before leaving.

"T-that was fast"

He tipped the cup to his lips, emptying his drink in one go, "Yeah, time to go."

April ran her hands through her curls, her face turning tad paler, "Yeah, time to go."

* * *

oOo

* * *

 **Jackson's POV:**

He threw the door open and shot out of his car; he didn't even bother closing the door as he sped towards the glass sliding door. He fought his way through the crowd, mumbling a half-hearted sorry as his eyes zeroed on the electronic board. When he didn't see her flight number, he made a bee line towards the ticketing counter, his heart slowly sinking into the pit of his stomach. "Excuse me Miss?"

The clerk lifted her gaze from the monitor, "Good afternoon Sir, how may I help you?" she asked politely.

"Flight 34FC - flight to Iraq, did I miss it? Is it still here?" he asked frantically.

"One moment," the crew replied. She then tapped on the keyboard, her eyes scanning the screen. After a moment, she met his gaze with apologetic eyes; "I'm sorry Sir but you've missed it. The plane already took off five minutes ago," she said.

Jackson felt his knees buckle but he was able to grab the counter to keep him up.

The woman behind the counter shot up from her seat, "Are you alright? Do you need me to call for help Sir?" she asked, slight panic evident in her tone.

"N-no, I'm okay" he managed to say. He took a deep calming breath and started gathering his bearings, once he's sure that his legs won't lock, he pulled away from the counter; "Thanks" he said before walking away.

* * *

oOo

* * *

Heartbroken and full of remorse, Jackson left the airport like the devil is on his heels. He didn't have any destination in mind, so he was not surprised when he found himself in the place he seldom visits. He pulled his keys from the ignition and pushed the door open; he climbed out of his car and locked it behind him. He slipped his hands inside his pockets as he walked along the path; he turned to his left and saw what he's looking for. The knot inside his chest seems to tighten when his eyes found the little angel perched on top of the tombstone that bears his son's name. He swallowed thickly before slowly walking towards it. Once he reached the freshly mowed gravesite, he lowered himself to the ground, sitting cross legged on the slightly damp grass. He stared at it for a moment, before leaning forward, running his fingers on his name. "Hey bud, sorry it's been awhile since I last visited you" he said. He then leaned back, his eyes fixed firmly on the stone. "Your Mom just left and I wasn't able to catch her...I was too late" he paused to clear the football sized lump in his throat. He licked his lips, his knuckles turning white from being squeezed tightly. "I know, I shouldn't have told her that, when I know I can wait for her forever. I mean, who am I kidding? She's the love of my life, of course I'll be there - it was the stupid Avery pride talking when I told her that," he said. He then cracked a small smile, "Bet your Uncle Mark is throwing a fit there, eh? I can imagine his not so flattering words towards me now. And knowing him, he might be kicking up a storm," he said while eyeing the dark grey sky. He shook his head as he moved his eyes back to the tomb; "I love her Samuel, I love your Mom so much and I'll do everything I can to get her back" he said with resolve. He then slipped his hand to his pocket to pull his phone out, "Keep her safe for now, eh?" he said as he tapped on the screen. "Daddy will get her back," he added as he shifted the phone to his ear.

* * *

oOo

* * *

 **April's POV:**

"Here you go, thanks" she said as she handed the cabbie a few bills.

"You're welcome, have a good night" he replied as he accepted the money. He then slipped inside his car and pulled the door shut.

She took a deep breath, "God help me," she mumbled before pulling her suitcase behind her.

* * *

oOo

* * *

 **Jackson's POV:**

Jackson tore his eyes away from the screen when he heard noises coming from the living room, "What the hell?" he said as placed the laptop on his side. He scooted to the edge of the bed and planted his feet on the floor; he crept towards the door and quietly pulled it open. He scanned the dark living room and saw nothing out of place; he was about to head back but stopped when he heard the fridge being open. " _Seriously? The fucking fridge_?" he thought. He stepped out into the corridor and rolled his shoulders, getting the kinks out of his limbs. He balled his fists before storming towards the living room, ready to bust some balls; "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE - April?"

April jerked forward, the bottle she's holding slipping through her hand.

Unable to move, he just stared at her slack jawed.

"Geez!" she mumbled as she plucks the bottle from the floor.

That seem to snap Jackson out of his stupor, he felt his legs moving even before he was able to recover from shock. He pulled her into his arms, "You're real...you're really here..." he said with disbelief.

"I'm real and I'm really here" April replied as she wrapped her arms around him.

He hugged her tighter, burying his face into the crook of his neck.

"I...I heard what you said..."

"Huh?"

She pulled a fraction, "I was awake..." she admitted, waiting for him to meet her gaze.

He lifted his face and stared into her eyes, "You were?"

Tears started pooling in her eyes, "I was...I heard everything you told me" she said. She untangled her arms from his waist and slowly moved it towards his face. She cupped his cheeks, her eyes never leaving his; "I love you Jackson, I always have. I'm sorry if I made you feel that my job is more important than you."

"April I-"

"No - let me finish," she said, cutting him off.

He clamped his mouth shut, gesturing for her to continue.

"I know that things between us haven't been the same-" she paused to clear the lump in her throat. "...ever since Samuel died. I pulled away from you because I felt like you don't see me the same way anymore - that I'm no longer the woman you fell in love with..."

"That's not true..." he softly said.

Tears fell down her cheeks, "I lost a huge part of me when we lost Samuel, and I needed space to put myself together that's why I left. I took the easy way out and I'm not proud of that Jackson - I'm not happy that I've caused you pain. I was blinded by my grief that I somehow forgot that you're grieving too and you need me to be there for you."

He tightened his arms around her but kept his mouth shut. He already knew all of these but he won't stop her, it's time to let it all out of her chest.

"I vowed to stay by your side through hardship and pain but I bolted. I'm not making the same mistake twice Jackson; I'm staying and I won't leave you again. We're gonna fix this - me and you, we can do this, we're still standing, right?"

His heart soared upon hearing those familiar words, making him grin widely. "Yeah, we are."

She smiled at him tearfully, "Your love will always be enough to make me want to stay. Being with you makes me happy and I'm sorry if I made you feel otherwise - I love you Jackson, I love you more than anything in this world, more than any words can say."

He stared into her eyes and saw love shinning through them, it has been awhile since he last lost saw it and he can't help but feel overwhelming happiness surge into his chest. He didn't know what to say so he did the next best thing he can think of, he leaned forward and claimed her lips - letting his love seep through his kiss.

She stood on her tip toes and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him like her life depended on it.

 _ **Ring...Ring...Ring...**_

She pulled her lips away from his, "The phone is ringing,"

He rested his forehead on hers, "I don't care-"

" _ **Jackson Avery! What the hell is going on? Robbins just called me and asked me to step in because you're on indefinite leave! Why are you on leave?! And what is this I hear about April being gone too? Are you two together? Call me as soon as you hear this or I'll take a red eye and whoop your ass!"**_

"Going somewhere?" she asked with a quirked brow.

He averted his gaze, his cheeks flushing with embarrassment; "Y-yeah..."

April pinched his chin to turn his face towards her, "Jackson?"

"I followed you at the airport but I missed your flight. I arrived five minutes late - traffic sucks"

She studied his face, "Really?"

He pulled her closer, "I'll do everything to keep you beside me, even beg. And If I can't make you stay, then I'll just follow you there."

"Y-you would do that?"

"And more April, and more, " he vowed solemnly.

She threw her arms around him and hugged him with all she's got, "I love you...love love you" she whispered.

Jackson moved his arms lower, lifting her from the floor, wrapping her legs around his waist. "Show me?" he whispered cheekily.

April didn't need to be told twice; she grabbed his face and pressed her lips towards his.

* * *

 _ **A/N: And we're done! ^-^/ Again, thank you for reading this story and I hope you like the ending! Cheers!**_


End file.
